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About Me Deviant Member lordioMale/United States Recent Activity
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Well, anyone who follows me on Facebook (yeah, I broke down and got one, shit's old news now) probably now knows that my relationship of very nearly seven months is over. It's weird, but I actually don't feel overly broken up about it. I think the problem is that we both realized the magic was gone. Of course, the fact that I took a fatal misstep a week or two ago didn't help things.

In the interest of privacy, details have been omitted.

What matters, and what led to the journal title, is one of the other things she told me as we took a walk. I'll note, this isn't news to me, but it struck me that I've known about it for some time, yet I've done nothing about it.

She said that I seem to lack a motivation to do anything. She felt like she couldn't motivate me, either.

The only reason I can think of as to why this is the case is that I let the world break me. I grew up believing I could be whatever I wanted, the youthful optimist I was. Hard to believe, I know. The problem that ended up occurring as a result is that I felt as though I could do whatever I wanted, whether it was productive or not. And a result of that, I waste tons of time on the Internet instead of working my ass off like Alex does, or socializing, like most of my other friends do. Being in a relationship, I believe, helped somewhat with the latter, but my current financial state speaks to my commitment to the former. Id est, I'm broke.

I've never seriously considered solutions for this problem. I think I've mistakenly chalked it up as a personality trait I have to live with. I've always viewed life as a compromise between hard, mindless labor and free-spirited artistic expression in whatever form. However, I may have to realize that a balance can be struck that allows me to move forward financially, as well as academically.

More thoughts in a few minutes.
  • Reading: Code in, code out. Code in, code out.

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~lordio
Carpe mundum!
United States
Current Residence: Manchvegas, NH
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Operating System: Win7-64, Ubuntu 11.04-64
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:iconeppy-dono:
[link]

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In a perfect world, calling on Ser Pounce-a-lot would summon a 20-foot Templar-eating tiger that Anders could ride on.
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:iconeppy-dono:
[link]

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In a perfect world, calling on Ser Pounce-a-lot would summon a 20-foot Templar-eating tiger that Anders could ride on.
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:iconlordio:
My results.

About what I expected.

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If there is an afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
If there is no afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
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:iconeppy-dono:
I'm a little further up than you.

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In a perfect world, calling on Ser Pounce-a-lot would summon a 20-foot Templar-eating tiger that Anders could ride on.
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:iconlordio:
More toward authoritarian?

I do remember you saying something to that effect once.

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If there is an afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
If there is no afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
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(1 Reply)
:iconopacusxpyro:
~opacusxpyro Nov 25, 2010  Student Writer
Ever heard of Bo Burnham? He's fucking hysterical!
[link]
here's one of the videos.
he actually took second place in the comedy central stand-up stand-off.

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:blackrose: "i do not kill with my gun, i kill with my heart" :blackrose:
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Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil
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:iconlordio:
I've heard of him, he did a show at NHTI last year, but I didn't go watch it.

A YouTuber I follow has mentioned him, too.

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If there is an afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
If there is no afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
Reply
:iconopacusxpyro:
~opacusxpyro Nov 25, 2010  Student Writer
seriously listen to some of his stuff.

WHY DIDN'T YOU GO?!?!?!?!??!!?!?!?!

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:blackrose: "i do not kill with my gun, i kill with my heart" :blackrose:
[link]
Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard, be evil
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:iconlordio:
I didn't know who he was at the time!

Plus, I was (and still am) poor.

--
If there is an afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
If there is no afterlife, enjoy this life, it is the last time you will ever live it.
Reply
(1 Reply)
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